Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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