I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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