we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
