Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
