Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
