Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
