Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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