I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
