just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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