I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize