omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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