it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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