ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.