She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it