i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
