wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
