people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
