Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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