nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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