I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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