why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
