My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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