U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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