what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
