Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I look better un-naked...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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