The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
