Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
