Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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