also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize