I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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