their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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