If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
