You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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