I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
