um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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