I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
