i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
either way he was missing a nipple.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
