I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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