so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
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Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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