I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
