I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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