Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
