just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
