i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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