I CAN MOONWALK!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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