yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
