The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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