I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Farmville is her only friend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's never too late to be topless.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i think im in europe. pls send help
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
