She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
