You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
