The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
