My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
