Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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