When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
