Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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