So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
