How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I believe in your delicious
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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