So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
