I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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