Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize