we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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