don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
