I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
