We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
